this post is dedicated to Stephen Adam, a portion from chapter 3: ed-u-kate.
One of the most important aspects of education you can get as a youth worker is the study of the culture you find yourself in. I’m sure you’ve read up on the beginnings of youth culture and adolescence before. If you haven’t, check out some books by renowned authors—Chap Clark or Walt Meuller. Knowing where youth ministry began might help you understand why it is at where it is now.
When I started my studies in youth ministry, I thought I had things figured out. I had grown up in the 90s and early 2000s and thought “hey, the best way to know something is to live through it”. Little did I know that there was a rich history before my time and even within the past 10 years, there has been a huge change and paradigm shift in our youth culture. The main factor for this shift is that within the youth culture of our North American society, change is one of the most consistent things we can expect to happen. Remember: change is one of the main markers of adolescence. Just as the kids we minister to are going through physical, mental, emotional and spiritual changes; so is the world in which they live.
So what does this mean to you as the youth worker?
Homework. And lots of it.
And the way that you do your homework will change by the setting in which you find yourself in.
For example, if you live within a rural community, much of your homework will take place in one on one meetings or with the families connected within your setting. My best advice to anyone starting out in a new location is to connect as much as humanly possible with the people you are ministering to. Get to know the stories, the past mistakes, the “good old times” and how they have impacted the present situation. Ask as many questions as you can think of; and not just “what do you like to do on your free time”, but well-thought-out questions that you have prepared in advance.
If you live within an urban setting, a good way to study is to look at the trends that have gone through your community (have skinny jeans become passe yet?). Ask how they have differed from communities around and perhaps connected to yours. Find out what is happening within the school systems and other youth based communities. See if you can find some teachers who are active followers of Jesus Christ. Talk to other youth pastors and youth leaders in your city network. Get together one on one with other youth pastors within a 5-10 KM radius and ask them about their struggles, their strengths, what has worked and what hasn’t. I find that the mistakes that other people make are great signs from above that tell me not to do the same stupid things that they did; and vice versa
Another thing you can do is keep your library up to date as well. Mark Twain said it this way "leaders are readers"; and this doesn't end the day you graduate your college or seminary.
Actually, let me pause here for a second and ask you "when was the last time you read a book that helped you in your ministry?". Pause for a second and try to remember a few main concepts. Okay. Back to your library.
As much as I love it when parents and co-workers drop off books from the 70s on “how to grow a youth group”, I love it even more when I hear of a book recently published by someone who knows way more than I do; or a website by someone who’s been in the game for decades and has stood the test of time.
Let me put this out there one more time: Youth Culture will continually change because change is what marks the name of the stage. If we as youth workers fail to recognize this, we will become just as out dated as the Pentium 1 computers that we spent thousands of dollars on when personal computers became a way of the future. Study hard, study often, and then implement what you have studied into the game where you play.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Are you listening?
As youth workers, we’re created to be relational people.
And for the most part, I find that many of us are also similar in personality types. We love to be around people (if not, get out of ministry) and most of us gab too much for our own good. Something tells me that at some point in your life, you were told that you had the gift of gab. I was told that at a young age! And as a young lad, I used it to my advantage.
Alas, sometimes our greatest strengths become our greatest weaknesses. The biggest weakness that I have as a husband is the fact that I am always trying to be Mr. Fix It. And rightfully so! As men, we love to fix things. It's our job! And when our lovely damsels in distress come to us with their mountains of problems that they can't possibly take care of on their own, we like to sort them through one by one until there is nothing else.
However, this may be our biggest downfall. The problem with having the gift of gab is that those who gab are unable to give a rip about anyone else’s opinions. It’s pretty straight forward but fundamental to any good youth ministry…. not talking… but listening.
Here’s what I mean: I can’t think of many youth pastors who are praised for talking too much. Yet I know and respect many who are the first one to ask a question and will actively listen to kid talk. Furthermore, I find that many of our kids who come through the doors of our churches and youth centres aren’t looking for someone who’s gifted with an expositional mind or a doctorate in theology; but a down to earth person who’s willing to just stop and listen. To give you a better idea of where I’m coming from, let me paint a picture of the world that many of my students live in.
Recently, to my wife’s surprise, there is a family (a really great one too) who has our home number on speed dial. I have no idea why, but every once in a while the cell phone calls our house. While the phone is in the pocket, my wife will sometimes overhear arguments. Sometimes we understand as parents ourselves; but sometimes we wish we had hung up the phone much earlier. Needless to say, there are times when the students in our ministries feel as if their parents aren’t listening.
School is another place where many of our students feel as if they aren’t being heard. I can’t even count the number of times when students tell me of the day they’ve had when they had a question and a teacher was unable to answer; or redirected a question to somewhere where they were not taken seriously. As a high-school delinquent myself at one time, I also remember many times sitting in the principal’s office trying to explain why it was a good idea to drop a flaming lighter in the hallway; but to my avail, was not even given the light of day.
Another place where you’d expect a teenager to at least be respected would be a service establishment like a pizza hut or convenience store. But even there, my students feel the burn as they are told to leave a backpack at a counter or not even allowed in a store because of a sign that says “no more than 2 students at a time”.
Yet one of the worst places where I find my students feel unheard and ignored happens to be my church. And here’s the kicker… I’m the one who’s not listening.
A student comes in from a rough argument with mom or dad who may be on the brink of divorce and the kid acts out or doesn’t feel up for the game—and I tell them to suck it up and play before asking them what’s up.
Another student is constantly asking silly questions during my lesson and I refuse to answer them for the rest of the month because I assume that all that will come of their question is foolishness—when the child has deeper issues… mainly the fact that no other adult will even give them a moment of their precious time.
Yeah, I think you get it.
Before we start pointing our fingers at “the system”, we need to be asking if we’re listening too. Because the truth is, there is a generation of young people who have amazing ideas, outcomes and solutions to the problems that we have created who just need someone to listen to them. We don’t need more smooth talking “funny” youth pastors in Canada. What we need are more active listeners who have the discipline to know when they need to shut their mouths and just listen.
Trust me. If you’re married, your husband or wife will thank you.
And if you’re working with kids, you just might show a child that there’s a caring adult who is interested in their life.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. -James 1:19
And for the most part, I find that many of us are also similar in personality types. We love to be around people (if not, get out of ministry) and most of us gab too much for our own good. Something tells me that at some point in your life, you were told that you had the gift of gab. I was told that at a young age! And as a young lad, I used it to my advantage.
Alas, sometimes our greatest strengths become our greatest weaknesses. The biggest weakness that I have as a husband is the fact that I am always trying to be Mr. Fix It. And rightfully so! As men, we love to fix things. It's our job! And when our lovely damsels in distress come to us with their mountains of problems that they can't possibly take care of on their own, we like to sort them through one by one until there is nothing else.
However, this may be our biggest downfall. The problem with having the gift of gab is that those who gab are unable to give a rip about anyone else’s opinions. It’s pretty straight forward but fundamental to any good youth ministry…. not talking… but listening.
Here’s what I mean: I can’t think of many youth pastors who are praised for talking too much. Yet I know and respect many who are the first one to ask a question and will actively listen to kid talk. Furthermore, I find that many of our kids who come through the doors of our churches and youth centres aren’t looking for someone who’s gifted with an expositional mind or a doctorate in theology; but a down to earth person who’s willing to just stop and listen. To give you a better idea of where I’m coming from, let me paint a picture of the world that many of my students live in.
Recently, to my wife’s surprise, there is a family (a really great one too) who has our home number on speed dial. I have no idea why, but every once in a while the cell phone calls our house. While the phone is in the pocket, my wife will sometimes overhear arguments. Sometimes we understand as parents ourselves; but sometimes we wish we had hung up the phone much earlier. Needless to say, there are times when the students in our ministries feel as if their parents aren’t listening.
School is another place where many of our students feel as if they aren’t being heard. I can’t even count the number of times when students tell me of the day they’ve had when they had a question and a teacher was unable to answer; or redirected a question to somewhere where they were not taken seriously. As a high-school delinquent myself at one time, I also remember many times sitting in the principal’s office trying to explain why it was a good idea to drop a flaming lighter in the hallway; but to my avail, was not even given the light of day.
Another place where you’d expect a teenager to at least be respected would be a service establishment like a pizza hut or convenience store. But even there, my students feel the burn as they are told to leave a backpack at a counter or not even allowed in a store because of a sign that says “no more than 2 students at a time”.
Yet one of the worst places where I find my students feel unheard and ignored happens to be my church. And here’s the kicker… I’m the one who’s not listening.
A student comes in from a rough argument with mom or dad who may be on the brink of divorce and the kid acts out or doesn’t feel up for the game—and I tell them to suck it up and play before asking them what’s up.
Another student is constantly asking silly questions during my lesson and I refuse to answer them for the rest of the month because I assume that all that will come of their question is foolishness—when the child has deeper issues… mainly the fact that no other adult will even give them a moment of their precious time.
Yeah, I think you get it.
Before we start pointing our fingers at “the system”, we need to be asking if we’re listening too. Because the truth is, there is a generation of young people who have amazing ideas, outcomes and solutions to the problems that we have created who just need someone to listen to them. We don’t need more smooth talking “funny” youth pastors in Canada. What we need are more active listeners who have the discipline to know when they need to shut their mouths and just listen.
Trust me. If you’re married, your husband or wife will thank you.
And if you’re working with kids, you just might show a child that there’s a caring adult who is interested in their life.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. -James 1:19
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
So you want to get into youth ministry eh?
I remember a few times when I was warned about getting into the ministry. I’m sure you’ve had your set of warnings that have been just as strong. The first warning I can ever remember was from my grandfather. At the age of 14, I remember my hero, who had been a pastor for many years in many churches, telling me that there was no money in ministry. I think he was on to something.
I also remember a few of my bible college professors telling me to get out while I still could. They had been around long enough to see what kind of a toll youth ministry can take on your body, social and family life as well as your mental and psychological abilities to cope with reality. Without a doubt, youth ministry is a demanding field on every level. It requires constant research as youth culture is organic and changes frequently. It also requires you to work odd hours—if you were hoping to work 9-5, maybe you should think about something else. There are times, when you find yourself wondering if you could be doing something else instead of your current gig. But every single time I find myself questioning, the answer comes back to a resounding… “you’re in this for the long haul, buddy! Keep on keeping on.”
I’m sure you’ve been through the exact same thing.
So, you want to do youth ministry stuff then, eh?
Well, I guess there are reasons for wanting to. Because of what you do, those junior high students who frequently ask questions will sometimes find the answers. And in their questioning, you’ve also gained insights that you never managed to see. Because of the young woman who is seeking her identity in the approval of others, you get the privilege of helping her see that God’s approval stands highest and that if she could see herself through His eyes; she might be able to overcome her faulty defence mechanism of cutting and self-harm. Those parents who you thought would never be able to last 4 years of a high-school kid who is off the wall has thanked you for being there through the thick and thin. And that the same kid who broke the window in the sanctuary is now off to Bible College
-Right now, teenagers are being shaped by our Canadian culture. Some of Canadian culture is great (diversity, tolerance, the importance of caffeinated beverages), but a lot of it stands against the values that Christ taught in Matthew 5-7.
-The average age of a young person deciding to have sexual relations is lowering year by year. Right now, there is a growing statistic of sexually transmitted diseases and infections that are spreading throughout junior high schools and high schools. Believe it or not, your influence might help them choose to save themselves from making mistakes that will echo into their adult lives.
-You know what many of your local schools are teaching. They teach with authority and kids actually do listen. But you can too! Give them another voice to heed… God’s Word.
-With social media being more and more prevalent in their every day use, kids are feeling more and more alone. Dinner is announced when Mom text messages Dad who instant messages Johnny who in turn grabs a slice of store bought pizza and head back to his room to chat online with someone from brazil… someone who feels just as lonely as he is but has no idea how to start a conversation with her parents either.
Thanks for getting into youth ministry. We need more caring and thoughtful people—just like you.
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