Behavioural Modification

I’ve got a confession…

I’m not always the best behavioural analysist…

As a youth worker, a part of our job is to see the behaviour of our teens and understand why they do the things that they do.

And I’m sure you’re great at it… Sometimes I am… Sometime’s I’m way off…

I remember a kid who came out about 3 years ago who acted out because he was looking for attention he wasn’t receiving from any other adult… that one was pretty straight forwards.

I also remember some kids who I thought I knew where they were coming from and I was totally wrong.

It happens when you work with adolescents. Sometime’s you’re right, sometime’s you’re wrong… and it’s okay to be wrong sometimes…

One thing that has been on my mind is the way in which we seek to modify the behaviour of our teens. If you’re a youth worker in the context of a faith based organization, you know exactly what I mean. Perhaps you even plan a conversation around these four goals

1. What do I want them to know
2. What do I want them to feel
3. What do I want them to do
4. How would I like to see them behave over time

These questions aren’t new. They’re right out of the textbooks you most likely used in your training as a youth worker…

When I started here at LRC, I understood this to mean that it was my job to change the behaviour of our teens. If they were talking in church, it meant that I wasn’t doing my job. If they talked through Sunday’s sermon, it meant that I wasn’t teaching them to listen. And if cursed like sailors (which some of our kids do), it meant that I wasn’t doing my job as their youth pastor.

I think you could answer either way with valid points. But let me ask a few more questions to consider as you look at behaviour modification…

What if our role was to enable our teens to follow Jesus Christ within the context that they lived in… meaning we weren’t telling them ditch their schoolmates and only hang out with Christian friends…

What if our role wasn’t to focus on the language they used that was “bad” (and I know we’re all sick of the mom jokes); but to enable them to communicate their faith in which would bring a change in their friends lives?

What if our job was not to turn them into their parents, but to help them find out who God created them to be… even if it means that they’re rough around the edges?

Just some things that have been on my mind lately…

Till next time…